[00:00:00] Staci Lemke: Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt completely overwhelmed by all the advice out there about raising your puppy. Your vet says one thing, your neighbor down the street swears by something totally different. Your mom insists, well, that’s the way we did it when you were a kid and our dogs turned out fine.
[00:00:18] Staci Lemke: And then their social media, 87 different videos showing you 87 different things that she should do to train your puppy. It’s no wonder new puppy parents feel so overwhelmed, you just wanna do right by your puppy. But who do you listen to? Well, that’s where I come in. Welcome back to the Well-Mannered Mutt Podcast.
[00:00:39] Staci Lemke: Today we’re gonna talk about why there’s so much conflicting advice out there where new puppy owners usually turn for guidance, and most importantly, how you can sort. The good, helpful information from the kind that’ll leave you and your pup more frustrated than when you started. Welcome to the Well-Mannered Mut podcast.
[00:00:59] Staci Lemke: I’m Staci Lemke, certified professional dog trainer, registered veterinary technician, and proud owner of Manners for Mutts dog training. With over 20 years of experience, I’ve helped countless dog owners just like you, build stronger, happier relationships with their furry friends. From private lessons to online courses, I’m here to help make life with your dog easier and more rewarding.
[00:01:23] Staci Lemke: I believe in training that is kind. Fun and scientifically proven positive reinforcement is at the core of everything I do because it’s the most effective way to teach your dog while strengthening your bond. Whether you’re tackling basic training, solving behavior challenges, or just looking for tips to keep your pup thriving.
[00:01:43] Staci Lemke: You are in the right place. So let’s dive into today’s episode and take the first step toward having the well-mannered mutt you’ve always dreamed of. So why is there so much conflicting advice out there? Well, puppy raising is one of those topics where tradition science and pop culture all collide. Some people repeat what worked back in the day.
[00:02:06] Staci Lemke: Others share tips they’ve seen online and professionals disagree with each other depending on their training philosophy. Add in the constant stream of content on social media, and it’s no wonder puppy parents feel pulled in five different directions. You are not just hearing one approach, you’re hearing a mashup of old habits, new research, and strong personal opinions.
[00:02:30] Staci Lemke: And when you try to follow all of them, it gets overwhelming, fast. Let me give you an example. I had a client come to puppy class once, and this woman was exhausted. She had a 10 week old golden retriever puppy, and as with most puppies, especially any kind of retriever, this puppy was mouthy and biting in a single week.
[00:02:49] Staci Lemke: She tried five different methods for puppy biting, yelling, ouch, and freezing, shaking a can of pennies, holding her puppy’s mouth closed and squirting the puppy with water. Finally, redirecting the puppy to a toy. Why so many? Because she heard them all at the vet from her cousin on YouTube in a Facebook group.
[00:03:11] Staci Lemke: As a result, her puppy was confused, she was frustrated, and nothing was working. And that’s what happens when you try to follow everyone all at once. So let’s break down where all this advice is coming from. Your friends and family, they love you, they love your dog, and they usually mean well, but often they’re passing along what worked for their dog or what they saw someone else do 20 years ago.
[00:03:34] Staci Lemke: Just because it worked doesn’t mean it’s the best or kindest way. Veterinarians. I love vets. Heck, I worked as an RVT in vet medicine for over 25 years, and I trust vets completely with medical advice. But unless your vet has a special interest in behavior, they may not be the best resource or training methods.
[00:03:54] Staci Lemke: Their focus is on keeping your pup physically healthy. Much less emphasis is placed on your pup’s mental and emotional health. Then there’s the internet and social media, and this one’s tricky because you can find fantastic trainers on YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok, but you’ll also find a lot of unqualified people giving advice because it looks good on video, algorithms reward catchy quick fixes, not necessarily accurate information.
[00:04:22] Staci Lemke: Ethical dog training looks pretty boring on video. Then there’s the professional puppy trainers. This is where credentials and philosophy matter. A trainer should be open about how they train, what methods they use, and why. Positive reinforcement trainers rely on science and focus on building trust and cooperation, not fear or intimidation.
[00:04:44] Staci Lemke: Now, here’s where it gets practical. How do you know what’s good advice versus advice that you should run away from? Well, let me give you a few red flags in puppy training. Advice number one, the promise of instant results. If someone says, this will stop your puppies barking in five minutes. Or in just one lesson, all your problems will be fixed.
[00:05:07] Staci Lemke: This is a big warning sign. Puppies are living learning beings, not machines. Real training takes consistency and practice. Sure, you might see some quick improvements right away, but lasting behavior change comes from repetition and patience. Number two. Talk of Dominance Alpha, or being your puppies pack leader.
[00:05:30] Staci Lemke: These terms come from outdated studies on captive wolves in the 1940s. We now know they don’t reflect how dogs actually learn or how they live. When you hear someone say, you need to show your puppy whose boss, what they usually mean is using intimidation or force to get your puppy to comply. That approach damages trust instead of building it.
[00:05:53] Staci Lemke: Your puppy doesn’t need a drill sergeant. They need a teacher. Three advice that relies on fear, pain, or intimidation. And this can look anything like yelling, hitting, poking, shaking, using a choke chain or a shock caller, or even just jerking on your puppy’s leash. These methods might suppress a behavior in the moment because your puppy is startled and they stop with their doing, but they don’t teach your puppy what to do.
[00:06:19] Staci Lemke: Instead. Worse, they can create anxiety, aggression, or a broken bond between you and your dog. And finally, any advice that makes you uncomfortable in your gut, and this one is important. If someone tells you to do something and your first reaction is, that feels wrong, or, I don’t really wanna treat my puppy that way, trust that instinct.
[00:06:42] Staci Lemke: You know your puppy better than anyone. If it feels cruel, it probably is. You got a puppy dreaming of fuzzy snuggles and sweet puppy breath. But instead, you and all your possessions are full of teeth marks. Sound familiar? What if I told you raising a puppy doesn’t have to be like this? Join me in my online course.
[00:07:03] Staci Lemke: Help My puppy is biting me to get step-by-step instructions on how to teach your puppy what’s appropriate to bite and chew on and save your hands and arms. Don’t sacrifice another pair of your favorite shoes. Go to manners for mutts.com back slash puppy. Biting to sign up now. So what are some green flags and puppy training advice first?
[00:07:28] Staci Lemke: Good training isn’t about stopping bad behaviors. It’s about showing your puppy the right choice. For example, instead of punishing chewing on the furniture, we redirect them to a toy and reward them for using it. This way, your puppy learns what works and you get the behavior that you want. Next, kindness, patience, and relationship building training should feel like teamwork, not a battle of wills.
[00:07:53] Staci Lemke: Look for advice that emphasizes building trust, using gentle methods and being patient as your puppy learns. When your pup sees you as a safe, fun leader, they’ll wanna work with you, not against you. Next, you want advice grounded in science and learning theory. Positive reinforcement is backed by decades of research and animal behavior.
[00:08:14] Staci Lemke: It’s the same principle used to train dolphins, zoo animals, and even humans in therapy and education. Advice rooted in science sets your puppy up for success and avoids harm. And finally, it feels sustainable for you and your puppy, and this one’s huge. If a method feels exhausting, harsh, or complicated, it won’t stick.
[00:08:36] Staci Lemke: Good advice feels realistic and doable in daily life. If it’s too complicated, you’re not gonna stick with it. Likewise, your puppy should be engaged, wagging their tail and want to participate, not hiding, cowering or shutting down. That’s when you know you’re on the right track. Okay, so you’re scrolling on the internet or you’re chatting with a friend and you hear some new piece of puppy training advice.
[00:09:01] Staci Lemke: How do you know whether to tuck it into your toolkit or let it go? Here are a few simple questions that can help you sort through the noise. Does this make sense for my puppy’s age and stage puppies? Just like kids have developmental milestones, a 10 week old puppy can’t hold their bladder through a full night.
[00:09:19] Staci Lemke: No matter how many times someone tells you that they should be able to do it by now. If the advice doesn’t match where your puppy actually is in their growth and abilities, it’s probably not fair to expect it to work. Think of it this way. You wouldn’t expect a toddler to solve algebraic equations in the same way.
[00:09:38] Staci Lemke: You can’t expect a baby puppy to have the same skills or impulse control as an adult dog. Is this based on fear and punishment or teaching and rewarding? This is one of the biggest dividing lines and training methods. Long-term success comes from teaching your dog what to do, not scaring them into stopping something else.
[00:09:58] Staci Lemke: For example, if your puppy jumps yelling, no, might make them hesitate, but it doesn’t teach them the polite behavior that you actually want them to do. Like sitting instead, reward-based training builds a skill. Punishment might stop the behavior in the moment, but it doesn’t create a lasting habit. Who’s giving this advice and what are their credentials?
[00:10:20] Staci Lemke: Anyone can sound confident on the internet, but a confident delivery doesn’t equal accurate information. When you’re evaluating advice, look at the source. Is the person a certified trainer, do they pursue continuing education? Are they affiliated with any professional organizations or are they just someone whose video went viral because it was flashy?
[00:10:41] Staci Lemke: Credentials aren’t everything, but they’re a good sign that someone has put in the time to learn and stay current with science-based training. How does my puppy respond? This one’s simple but powerful. Watch your puppy. If they’re wagging their tail engaging with you and eager to try again, that’s a good sign that the method is working.
[00:11:02] Staci Lemke: If instead they shut down, avoid you, or look anxious, that method isn’t a good fit. Your puppy’s body language is feedback. Think of it as your built-in review system better than any five star rating on Amazon. And finally ask yourself, can I be consistent? This one is tough for all of us because it’s tempting to try every new tip that we hear, but puppies learn best when we pick one plan and stick with it.
[00:11:29] Staci Lemke: Imagine trying to learn a new language, but every day your teacher switches to a completely different approach. You’d be lost and puppies feel the same way. Consistency makes the learning clear and builds confidence. If you’ve tried something and it’s not working, before you give up, ask yourself, have I actually been consistent?
[00:11:49] Staci Lemke: Have I given my puppy enough time and enough repetitions to understand? If you can run new advice through these five filters, you’ll feel a lot less overwhelmed. You’ll start to spot what’s helpful, what’s outdated, and what just isn’t right for you and your pup, and that saves you both. A lot of frustration in the long run.
[00:12:09] Staci Lemke: The good news is you don’t need to listen to everyone. You just need a small circle of trusted sources. For most parents, that means a supportive vet, a trainer you feel good about, and maybe a couple of well chosen resources, like a reputable podcast. Such as this one or maybe a training book. It’s okay to ignore advice that doesn’t sit right with you.
[00:12:32] Staci Lemke: It’s okay to say thank you to a friend and then not follow what they suggest, and it’s absolutely okay to unfollow accounts online that stress you out with conflicting or harsh information. Raising a puppy is already a full-time job. You don’t need to carry the weight of everyone else’s opinions on your shoulder.
[00:12:51] Staci Lemke: Puppy training doesn’t come with a one size fits all manual, but you can filter through the noise by asking the right questions, trusting your instincts, and focusing on advice that helps you build trust, confidence, and joy with your dog. Because in the end, training isn’t just about stopping problems, it’s about raising the companion you dreamed of when you brought that puppy home.
[00:13:15] Staci Lemke: If you’re ready to stop second guessing yourself, and finally have a clear step-by-step plan for raising your puppy. Check out my online puppy raising courses. They’re designed to take the overwhelm out of training so that you can enjoy more of the fun. Cuddly moments and less of the stress. It’s like having a puppy training coach right in your pocket.
[00:13:37] Staci Lemke: I will link everything for you in the show notes. Take care. Until next time, thank you for joining me today and taking the time to help your dog become a more well-mannered mutt. If you’ve got questions about today’s episode or an idea for a topic you’d love to hear about, let’s connect. You can find me on Facebook and Instagram at Manners for Mutts.
[00:13:59] Staci Lemke: Also, be sure to visit manners for mutts.com for links, resources, and more. If this episode helped you and your pup, I’d be thrilled if you left a review on Apple Podcasts. Your feedback helps me create even more content to support you and your furry friend. Talk to you next time.
